So do you think it’s too late now? I kinda feel like I might’ve already made myself seem crazy
I don’t think it’s possible without professional help, unfortunately
You have gone through trauma in your life
And proper professional help to heal
It’s not just the cheating
I feel like I’m kind of over the other things though tbh
It’s your upbringing, your dad’s problems, your car accident, your attachment issues etc
Yellow crab I’ve been there before!
And what did you do to get past it?
With trust issues and abandonment issues
I think it’s all connected somehow.
Fear of being cheated on is a fear of being abandoned
With a boy I liked. I opened up to him and would happen a lot like every week almost. He told me he given up and doesn’t like me anymore. I allowed for us to be friends but then eventually it wasn’t comfortable. I tried leaving multiple of times. I did in the end and am over a week no contact with the guy
So yes, for a healthy relationship to work, we need to get rid of unhealthy baggage
Don’t blame yourself for your problems, they are not your fault
It just sucksss I don’t have this problem
I wish it was that easy as saying “don’t worry about it”
I don’t event want to want to be in a relationship. It was hard to not develop feelings for him, especially since he was coming on strong too. It made me question it even more I think
Or are you with him because he insisted?
I do, I’ve been really enjoying getting to know him more and more. We talk effortlessly and he seems like a genuinely great human
Don’t feel rushed into things
Should I just try to say f it, and just really try to trust him and hope for the best?
But then it’s like what if I ignore potentially red flags again because I’m trying to censor myself and trust, and he ends up cheating on me too, then how could I recover from that
I would say, try to figure out if you like him first, and if you are with him because you really like him and feel ready for a commitment or just because you feel lonely or under pressure
We can never know if someone will ever decide to be eternally loyal or not, so that’s not a fear you can live by.
When two people commit into a relationship, you check for other things, and don’t overlook red flags 🚩
And if I’m not sure if I’m 100% ready for commitment yet because I want to know him even more?
Then you tell him exactly that
If he really likes you, he will be ready to wait
How do you not over look red flags while also not having fear though?
Also I REALLY appreciate you btw
Red flags are different behaviours that make us feel uncomfortable
It’s not just something we look for
I’m certain he would wait - that is if he still likes me. I’m nervous for how tomorrow will go after I embarrassed myself tonight
It’s whatever that doesn’t match our values
Don’t feel bad for having trauma response
Sorry I have to go to work now
Okay no worries, thank you 🩷 have a good shift
I wish ppl could come chat in here so my messages disappear 😅
