Nobody wants my thighs, and I don't think moobs can ever be perfect
Use of the word throat is an open goal. I'm just too lazy
Toast delivery service does sound good.
How would you keep it warm though
Didn't Enid Blyton write about "Lashings of ginger beer"
It took me a while to work out who Lady K was lol
Who isn't being friendly?
You'll be ok as long as you practice safe sexting
Nothing better than a rubbish movie at home with someone far more interesting
Too much pressure on Valentine's
Any night can be great, doesn't need a card 🤣
3 minutes cuddling, 1 minute taking clothes off, 30s falling over trousers leg, 20 seconds fumbling under duvet.
>>> I'm being bought a steak
To check if you are a vampire?
Or is it a minute steak, setting expectations?
Maybe she is keen on a nice juicy sausage
Not the kind of man you hoped for
