I’m having trouble understanding your demi perspective in a poly realm. Poly is under the umbrella of ethical non-monogamous relationships, but casual is more swinging of fwb type thing. Poly literally stands for multiple loves, which is why I’d think it would be a perfect fit for a Demi.
To be fair, regardless of “orientation” or “relationship structure” a lot of people (dudes in particular) are going to be interested more in the physical side. I think it’s less to with who you are and more to do with a lot of people function on surface level emotions and attractions because going deep is scary, risky, and a lot of times very painful. But bad players exist in all spaces.
But how I’d define Demi, is someone that forms emotional connections with people before physical based ones. My partner doesn’t tend to care what others look like, but how the act and treat others
The best poly approach for you is probably to just try toestablish friendships first, and they grow behind that, great! It’s just another avenue to establish depth in the connection. (Which is how my partner approached her boyfriend)
Yeah, even making friends is really hard as an adult!
So my spectrum side is coming out now, but do you think there’s a short cut to make friends, or maybe an efficient way, maybe?
Watching my partner talk with others has been an interesting thing for me, because she’s tended to bond most with people that have common interests, but that’s not how she bonded with me.
And given my heavily introvert tendencies and relatively simple and structured life, I have to wonder if that’s a big reason why things tend to fizzle out for me. I have an infinite curiosity, but what happens when the questions run out?
How many hobbies would you say you’ve had over a lifetime?
Oh, just searching for different creative ways to express yourself, or just trying on some pants to see if they fit or not?
Wow, that’s definitely a diverse field! I was hoping for more writing based ones because it’s hard finding people to talk about poetry or erotica with.
Do you have any favorites?
Well if you take feelings off the table, what about that persons innate qualities logically work for you?
Well pretend you are hypothetically broken up. What about them would you miss, what about them wouldn’t you miss?
Aka try to analyze without the rose colored glasses
I’m guess for me, NRE should be building a foundation for the future to stand on, but I get how that doesn’t work for everyone else
