O God please , please stop this
your lowly servant is in pain help me Lord my God
I need you now more than ever.
Amidst the Lillie's I found a Rose it shined brightly under the moon screaming mine.
And that's when I knew
you had hurt me enough to freeze the sun
but I escape from you
that's the best lie I have been telling myself
yet why are you so different
I want to erase you but you have my heart
each word that fell of you poked me hardly
I am waiting for the day when he will cover in me in his arms
and save me from you
he will protect me and cherish me
something you couldn't do he will teach me to love and trust something you and nobody could ever do.
Was it ever so hard to cry,
past screamed grief,
present don't say anything,
as for future I still wonder .
Was it always like this
hopeless,
famished,
felt naked,
but did I do something wrong ?
Pain in my veins
slow and strong enough to tear it.
Oh, I love and hate it at the same time!
The cut is oozing I wonder if I'll be gone
but I guess I'll hold on till I make her smile
but is she worth this all ?
What did she want from me?
she said peace . love . obedience . courage
but she showed me war . hate . rebellion . cowardice.
Loud and clear she said "You better off dead"
But her eyes screamed love
am I delusional or am I blinded by anger ?
I swear to God I tried
but its not working
I tried to stop all of it
but everything came back like a wave
will I ever be free?
The touch was warmth but the fear creeped through,
it went through all the unknown places-
what if one day it all just burst through me,
am I the victim or the survivor.
They spoke of love
but nobody knows how to show it
why? Is it that hard?
I want to say NO
but my lips just can't do that
it's so used to saying YES.
Just a Rose and Jasmine is all I need-
but they wither over time,
why did the Nazarene created they if they can't stay forever
why do the tormenting heart has to go through agony ?
I wonder if he exists
"If he ever exists let him know a dear servant wished for you and wasted the eternity"
