I get it. Have u heard that saying? The more you try to grip sand, the more it flows out of your hand. That’s the perfect example of control in life. The more u try to control, the more it slips away. Relax and be easy and you hold it easier.
It sounds counter intuitive, but that’s the best thing I can tell you.
And also, the best you can do right now, is all u have to do. (Coz that’s all u can do). Do it, then surrender to the flow of life. Find your courage, find your strength. No point ...